maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
