yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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