I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
