My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
