Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
