I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
