Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize