He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
