covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
