How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
