I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
