I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
