I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
