I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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