Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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