Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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