if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize