so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
where am i from again
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
