my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
