i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
