I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize