so that wasnt chicken after all
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
