Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
