8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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