i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
