lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
operation have a gay friend backfired
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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