I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
