Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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