overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
