Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
