I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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