All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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