yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
