She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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