pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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