It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
