Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I currently don't understand fingers.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
