I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
