just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
