i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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