My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
