This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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