The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
