Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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