this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
