Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
