when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
