RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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