rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
