i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my poor anus
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
