i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
