i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
