either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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