My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
