More tranny stories later!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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