this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
