I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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