Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
