i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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