In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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