This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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