it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
