I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
