I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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