why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
