We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
