Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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