I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
