Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
