How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize