whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
please come you make the beer taste better
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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