That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
