no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
