omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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