It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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